The Ironic Priesthood

May 11, 2007

BYU Students Turn Playground Equipment into Manual Labor Device

Filed under: Uncategorized — elderbarrywhine @ 8:11 pm

Look at those pictures showing how much fun the engineering students are having. The reason they are smiling is because they are imagining the kids turning this thing around, generating power for the school, and having absolutely no fun whatsoever!

Admit it – when you were a kid, if it seemed like a toy and had no functional purpose, it was fun! That toy that you pushed around and made little popping noises was great. Not so much fun when it’s an actual vacuum cleaner. And sure, an air-powered nail gun is terrific when keeping neighboorhood dogs away or your sister from getting the last brownie, but once you have to use it to put up sheetrock? No fun – it’s Work!

Maybe the next project these enterprising students can work on is creating a large funhouse-style wheel that kids can run in and power the teacher’s lounge. Woo!


September 28, 2006

Beat it!

Filed under: DU Police Beat, Uncategorized — elderbarrywhine @ 11:56 pm

Sept. 23: An assault was reported at the BYU vs. Utah State football game on Saturday. The victim, a male BYU student, was standing in front of the suspect, a female BYU student, and obstructing the female’s view of the game. The female asked the male, who didn’t have a ticket in that section of the stadium, to sit down or move. The man refused. An argument ensued and the event’s staff asked the man to sit down, which he would not. The male victim allegedly called the suspect a derogatory name and asked her, “What are you going to do to get me to sit down? Slap me?” The female suspect then slapped the male victim. The victim did not press charges.

No, but he did press his luck. Here’s a little hint to all you single guys out there: annoying is not attractive.

Sept. 22: A female BYU student reported a suspicious male in the Talmage Building asking her personal questions and hitting himself. The man was gone when police arrived.

Here’s another dating tip: Don’t bother inflicting pain on yourself when talking to girls; the pain will come naturally as a result of spending time with them. Become a monk now and live a stress-free life!

September 27, 2006

The Choicest Fruit : I Don’t Give a Plock

Filed under: Letters to the Editor, Uncategorized — elderbarrywhine @ 11:40 pm

Reader’s Forum, Sept. 27, 2006

I wouldn’t normally let this bother me, but “Honey, if You Love Me, Smile (and if Not, Don’t)” by Laurie Frost (Sept. 25) was, in my opinion, a waste of literary space. For one thing, I have a pet peeve about the word “crap.” I don’t think it should be used by people trying to keep their conversations on a higher level of decency. We all know what word it is a substitute for, therefore, it bothers me personally; but maybe I’m just eccentric in this regard. Secondly, I have heard that the best way to get rid of an enemy is to make him or her your friend. Being insincere and snide in conversation is not mutually uplifting and not in keeping with gospel teachings. Remember the phrase, “WWJD.”

Sorry if I missed the whole tenor of the article. Was it meant to be parody or tongue-in-cheek?

Lacy D. Croft

Memphis, Tenn.

So, apparently we need to come up with a new slang word for crap, one that not everyone knows what it means, in order to not offend this person. From this site:
I’m going to offer “plock” as the new word to use when designating offal.

Personally, I am going to choose to be offended by the ‘phrase’ “WWJD” – because all of the letters are capitalized in this acronym, it does not show the proper respect for the Savior’s name. A more proper rendition might be “wwJd.” Heaven forbid if I was being snide or insincere, though. After all, I intended this to be tongue-in-cheek, so that makes it alright.

September 21, 2006

We Got the Beat!

Filed under: DU Police Beat, Uncategorized — elderbarrywhine @ 11:53 pm

Sept. 15: The Creamery on Ninth East reported an argument. The confrontation began with two parties then a third party attempted to intervene. The agitation was over the use of an I-pod.

So, arguing is an issue for the Police now? What about Free Speech?

Sept. 13: A female student reported a suspicious male staring at females near the Morris Center. A police officer made contact with the man who said he hadn’t been staring at anyone, but that he did say hello to a female with a baby. The man has already been issued a restraining order for a previous incident.

For once, I feel like there’s actually more to this story than is being reported on. How bad does it have to get before people report you for staring? Maybe it helps if you’re not very good-looking.

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