The Ironic Priesthood

September 28, 2006

Beat it!

Filed under: DU Police Beat, Uncategorized — elderbarrywhine @ 11:56 pm

Sept. 23: An assault was reported at the BYU vs. Utah State football game on Saturday. The victim, a male BYU student, was standing in front of the suspect, a female BYU student, and obstructing the female’s view of the game. The female asked the male, who didn’t have a ticket in that section of the stadium, to sit down or move. The man refused. An argument ensued and the event’s staff asked the man to sit down, which he would not. The male victim allegedly called the suspect a derogatory name and asked her, “What are you going to do to get me to sit down? Slap me?” The female suspect then slapped the male victim. The victim did not press charges.

No, but he did press his luck. Here’s a little hint to all you single guys out there: annoying is not attractive.

Sept. 22: A female BYU student reported a suspicious male in the Talmage Building asking her personal questions and hitting himself. The man was gone when police arrived.

Here’s another dating tip: Don’t bother inflicting pain on yourself when talking to girls; the pain will come naturally as a result of spending time with them. Become a monk now and live a stress-free life!

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