The Ironic Priesthood

July 25, 2006

The choicest fruit: They have come for our manuals!

Filed under: Letters to the Editor — thehighpriest @ 8:59 pm

Today’s Daily Universe brought us another choice and strangely-paragraphed dalliance with paranoia.  Beware the tri-lingual instruction manual; it is a portent of doom. 

A free ride

Recently I received an owner’s manual for a new cell phone which I purchased and was surprised at the length of it. Flipping through it I discovered that it had all the information twice, once in English and once in Spanish. This is yet another example of the cause of the illegal immigration problem that plagues our country. Once an illegal alien crosses our border, life significantly increases for them.

These illegal aliens are able to get good jobs where they don’t have to pay taxes; they receive free education, free medical care, government assistance and in some states can even acquire driver’s licenses. American companies also cater to these illegal aliens, they

put package information in Spanish, they create supermarkets catered towards them, and all businesses are more than willing to speak Spanish to their customers. Even politicians cater to these illegals

so that they can acquire the Hispanic minority vote. We as a society are telling them to stay out through our laws while our actions tell them otherwise. If we as a nation truly want to end the destructive effects of illegal immigration (higher taxes, increased crime and drugs), we don’t need to build walls and create guest worker programs, we need to stop giving them everything for free. If this country stopped giving free medical care, education, government assistance and jobs then they would not come any more. Illegal aliens are harmful to

our nation, but it is our fault that there are here.

Marc Jones Ft. Collins, CO

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6 Comments »

  1. Soooo…What’s your problem with it? Do you care to engage what he’s said? Or just denounce the man as paranoid?

    Comment by Craig Russell — July 27, 2006 @ 7:32 am

  2. Let’s break this one down point by point:

    “Recently I received an owner’s manual for a new cell phone which I purchased and was surprised at the length of it.”
    – OK. Been there.

    “Flipping through it I discovered that it had all the information twice, once in English and once in Spanish.”
    – True or false? True. We’ve all seen this.

    “This is yet another example of the cause of the illegal immigration problem that plagues our country.”
    – Oddly worded, but true, though you may not agree with the term “plagues.”

    “Once an illegal alien crosses our border, life significantly increases for them.”
    – I believe the term he’s looking for is “improves,” but who am I to criticize? He is correct – life does improve, or else they wouldn’t come.

    So, why does life significantly improve for them?

    “These illegal aliens are able to get good jobs where they don’t have to pay taxes;”
    – It’s estimated that maybe 62% pay federal taxes, and many who do underwithhold.

    “they receive free education, free medical care, government assistance and in some states can even acquire driver’s licenses.”
    – True, true, true, & true.

    “American companies also cater to these illegal aliens, they put package information in Spanish, they create supermarkets catered towards them, and all businesses are more than willing to speak Spanish to their customers.”
    – True, though it’s hard to blame the businesses. Still, it does explain how they’re able to survive w/o speaking English.

    “Even politicians cater to these illegals so that they can acquire the Hispanic minority vote.”
    – Well, that is an argument Republicans are using for amnesty, isn’t it?

    “We as a society are telling them to stay out through our laws while our actions tell them otherwise.”
    – True., though by “our actions” he means those of government and businesses, not the voters.

    “If we as a nation truly want to end the destructive effects of illegal immigration (higher taxes, increased crime and drugs)…”
    – Doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the harm they cause.

    “…we don’t need to build walls and create guest worker programs, we need to stop giving them everything for free. If this country stopped giving free medical care, education, government assistance and jobs then they would not come any more.”
    – Undeniably true. Allowing illegal aliens to send the kids to school enables them to settle down here with their families, rather than simply be itinerant laborers. It also provides them with free daycare.

    “Illegal aliens are harmful to our nation, but it is our fault that there are here.”
    – True

    Comment by Craig Russell — July 27, 2006 @ 7:50 am

  3. Craig, it is not my place to engage. It is my place to mock. Keep that in mind. Here is not where you come for intelligent conversations; here is where you come for paranoid rants inspired by tri-lingual instruction sheets.

    Comment by thehighpriest — July 27, 2006 @ 2:34 pm

  4. >“Recently I received an owner’s manual for a new cell phone which I purchased and was surprised at the length of it. Flipping through it I discovered that it had all the information twice, once in English and once in Spanish. This is yet another example of the cause of the illegal immigration problem that plagues our country.”
    – Oddly worded, but true, though you may not agree with the term “plagues.”

    Comment by kuri — July 27, 2006 @ 7:49 pm

  5. Trying again (sorry, I’m not used to wordpad):

    “Recently I received an owner’s manual for a new cell phone which I purchased and was surprised at the length of it. Flipping through it I discovered that it had all the information twice, once in English and once in Spanish. This is yet another example of the cause of the illegal immigration problem that plagues our country.”
    – Oddly worded, but true, though you may not agree with the term “plagues.”

    Very true indeed. In fact, the causal relationship between bilingual owner’s manuals and illegal immigration was first noted by Thucydides in his “History of the Peloponnesian War” in 404 B.C.E. Subsequently, bilingual manuals were outlawed by the Magna Carta in 1215, and the Treaty of Westphalia in 1648 ensured the right of sovereign nations to prohibit their dissemination. The US Constitution specifically forbid the publication of bilingual cell phone manuals, until the passage of the XIII 1/2th Amendment in 1865 allowed their creation. That law was not enforced, however, until 1958, when the US Supreme Court in a fit of wolly-headed liberal blindness ruled in Verizon v. [edited for content] that only an idiot would consider bilingual cell phone manuals a cause of illegal immigration. And it’s been all downhill ever since, as any right-thinking American will tell you.

    thehighpriest says: kuri, I appreciate your comment but please remember that we strive to be G-rated around here.  Next time, please go with Dummyhead.

    Comment by kuri — July 27, 2006 @ 7:51 pm

  6. Mr. Bass didn’t fool you, eh? 😉

    Comment by kuri — July 27, 2006 @ 8:44 pm


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