The Ironic Priesthood

July 19, 2006

Gifts for the more discerning Mormons

Filed under: ¿Humor? — thehighpriest @ 9:43 pm

As we all know, people are willing to make you a custom built altar so that you can perform inappropriate temple ordinances in the comfort of your own home. But did you know that they will also install additional custom features, similar to the ones listed here?

In your custom family altar, you can have the following installed:

An aquarium

A pizza oven

A planetarium projector

A fold-out dinette set (optional stylish folding chairs are easily stored behind the veil)


A 41 inch flat panel television.

Please act now while supplies last.



  1. Any question I may have had of my own speaking too lightly of sacred things has just been utterly and completely transcended. :-/

    Comment by Jeff Day — July 19, 2006 @ 11:27 pm

  2. I would say so that you can “inappropriately perform temple ordinances in your own home” rather than how you put it because the way you said it makes it sound like the temple ordinances themselves are inappropriate.

    Comment by john f. — July 20, 2006 @ 12:17 am

  3. Good point, john. My original thought was that they were by definition inappropriate if performed outside of temples, but your version is probably better. Consider it amended in the minds of all those who read the comments.

    Comment by thehighpriest — July 20, 2006 @ 3:39 pm

  4. Can the altar be customized with a menorah, so as to accomodate any Jewish visitors? I mean, that seems like the polite thing to do.

    Comment by FHL — July 27, 2006 @ 8:32 pm

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